I just saw an attempt to pass off ‘onboarding’ as a word, as in ‘Employee Onboarding System’. The end is nigh, my friends.
Can I just take another small moment to complain about the weather? In England people are very fond of complaining about the weather, usually with very little reason: come on now, have you lost any extremities? Are you in danger of being eaten by hungry wolves? Well, are you? But I have to admit, in this instance they aren’t crying wolf. This is pretty dire. I am genuinely concerned that England might simply sink beneath the waves. We’ve already got the entire population of Eastern Europe weighing us down (complains the recent immigrant). We might have to jettison some ballast. I vote for the entire cast, crew and set of every single season of Big Brother that has ever aired. Well, except for that guy with Tourette’s. He was pretty funny.
Hey, speaking of crap TV, someone I used to work for at the Good Ship, whose flat I partied at last New Years Eve, landed a gig a while ago on Hollyoaks, Britain’s premiere trashy soap opera. This guy was a bit of a dick and had the habit of referring to himself as an Actor with an audible capital A. (At his New Years Eve party he imitated my accent for some reason, and I said, “Hey, that was pretty good.” “Well, I am an Actor,” he said. “It’s my job.” Huh. Tell that to Don Cheadle.) Anyway, there is a point in here somewhere…oh yes, here it is. I do enjoy watching Hollyoaks on the odd occasion when SiC is not around to make fun of me, and to my delight, in a recent development, they’ve made Actor Boy’s character reveal that he is gay. Brilliant. So now he has to use all his Actor-y skills in making sad cow eyes at one of his pretty-boy co-stars and even engaging in the odd same-sex kiss. Well mate, it is your job, after all. Heh heh.