HOW TO KEEP HUSBAND HAPPY:
1. Buy miniskirt.
2. Wear miniskirt.
I really think I’m getting the hang of this marriage thing.
CONVERSATION HELD IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO WALES, AFTER THE IPOD LEAD TRAGICALLY STOPPED WORKING AND WE WERE REDUCED TO SCROUNGING SIC’S OLD TAPES FROM THE GLOVE BOX:
“No more acid techno. I’ll listen to anything as long as it has a guitar in it. … Yes! That’s good! Led Zeppelin is good! Please can I listen to Led Zeppelin? … Wow, there’s something I never thought I’d say.”
“I think this is an interview I taped off the BBC. Jimmy Page is awesome. He’s so messed up he makes Ozzy Osbourne sound like Umberto Eco.”
“Ha! Robert Plant needs to shut the fuck up though. What a pretentious git. … Jesus Christ, he’s analysing the lyrics of ‘Stairway to Heaven’. They could use this to torture political prisoners. Seriously, I can’t take it. Can you fast-forward please?”
[click … pause … click … “so we had these Iceclandic runes…”]
“AAAARGH! Oh no you fucking don’t. That is QUITE ENOUGH.”
[click]
CONVERSATION HELD IN OUR LOCAL INDIAN RESTAURANT:
“This music rules. It’s blatantly one guy on a Casio keyboard. Listen to the beat! It’s Indian oompa music!”
“Punjabi Polka! It sounds like the theme song to an Indian kids’ show. ‘Hey kids! It’s time for Fun With Ganesha!’”
“It sounds a bit like The Magic Roundabout.”
“The Karmic Roundabout! Every time you get off it’s a new incarnation!”
METADATA?
So I started my new job today. I heard the word ‘metadata’ a lot. Still no idea what the hell I’m supposed to be doing, though I’m fairly positive it will be none of the following:
1. Making tea.
2. Organising meetings.
3. Taking minutes.
4. Picking up anyone’s dry cleaning.
So hooray! Roll on file structures! And stuff!