Know what I don’t recommend? Combining jet lag and stress. I swear I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in about fifty years. I like zombie films and all, but I hadn’t envisaged re-enacting one on my wedding day. “Unnnnggghhh! Braaaiiiins! Brains and caaaaaaake!”
The wedding went off without too much stress, except for having to sew the strap back on my dress, and not being able to find the wedding commissioner’s house. I have no idea how people manage to make it through actual proper weddings. But somehow I wound up married! Hooray! And then I spent the evening at a crappy sports bar watching SiC play pool with my brother until jet lag landed on me like a cartoon anvil and I died. At least that’s what it felt like.
The next day SiC’s sister rented a car and we drove to Banff and Lake Louise. I’d forgotten how really fucking enormous the Rocky Mountains are. We had lunch at Chateau Lake Louise, where the spectacular view was nearly ruined by having to listen to ‘My Favourite Things’ played on the harp. There should be a fucking law. Then on the way back we saw a bear, which was totally cool, and SiC’s sister demanded that SiC get out of the car and take a picture, and SiC declined rather enthusiastically, and I laughed, and for the rest of the day we entertained ourselves at SiC’s expense by yelling “Look out! A bear!” at every opportunity, which was slightly unfair seeing as neither of us had volunteered to go stare the snarling maw of death in the face, but amusing nonetheless.
There have been a few things I’ve missed about Canada over the past two years. So naturally upon my arrival I wasted no time in going to a 7 Eleven and availing myself of a slurpee and a microwave burrito: North American culture at its finest. Today I think I’ll go to the mall.